Thursday, April 25, 2013

eels up inside ya, finding an entrance where they can

There is fear, and then there are eels. 

stuff of nightmares, yo.

If you're going to fear a thing anyway, why not make it ridiculous? If every time you walk into the basement, you are met with the overwhelming sensation that centipede, murderer, or animated mouse corpse awaits you around every corner, why not take control?

I believe that inexplicable fear of clowns or spiders or other socially normal fears are chosen by the individual. For awhile as a child I pretended to be, and thus became, afraid of clowns. For no particular reason other than other people were also afraid of the same thing.

As an adult I left Charlotte and Pennywise, instead adopting a perfectly natural normal human fear that in every dark room I would find a GIANT EEL SWIMMING THROUGH THE AIR. By allowing it in long enough for it to feel exercised, I give myself the power to wiggle free from the fear.

Until the inevitable day I am met with an enormous air-swimming eel floating down the basement hallway, of course. Until then I live in intermittent, easily penetrable fear, I suppose.

Try it on, y'all. This is goddamn terrifying. 


  1. I have no words. Glad you got this out. :)

  2. Seems like a perfectly rational fear to me.

    1. That's because you're afraid of whales!

  3. I find eels horrifying ever since I saw one fished out of a lake in Maryland. It would not die. It was a terrible sight to behold. If one swam through the air at me, I would keel over and roll into the fetal position.

    Totally missed the point, didn't I? ;)

    Shannon at The Warrior Muse

  4. In that case you may want to skip reading or watching the eel scene in The Tin Drum. Or you may be its ideal audience.