Thursday, April 4, 2013

On the importance of breakfasting early

"What have we always said is the most important thing?"
"Oh, I thought you meant of the things you eat."
--Arrested Development

For three days in a row, I've eaten breakfast. This is a new habit. Much as I love breakfast food--and I do... just now I felt my temperature rise at the thought of a crab cake eggs benedict and well-done hash browns. Orange juice. Coffee. Distraction. NOM.

Crab cake benedict's evil twin.

Typically, if I eat at all in the morning, I don't eat until after I arrive at work. That's at least two or three hours beyond the time I roll out of bed into whatever clothes are closest in the floor pile, and stumble down the sidewalk to the bus. Mornings are a terrible time full of life-long disappointment, racing pulses, nightmarish sunshine, and the further drift of my dream to write in the morning. 

If my body is lucky, I cram a Pop Tart and Diet Coke down my maw while on the bus. I spend my ride to work entirely manic about bus people and leaves on trees and shit, until the bubbling sugar maelstrom in my stomach erupts and my nervous system collapses just as the manager who jogs at 6 AM is shouting hello.

No caption; too real.

Recently the synchronicity of the universe winked at me, beckoning to dine early. I read about sleep cycles, and how the easiest way to reset your cycle is to fast for 8 to 10 hours, then eat. Body uses this marker as "morning! awake!" Sleep later, allotting 8 hours of sleep before your breakfast time, and tada, suddenly waking up in the morning isn't such a shit show. After I read this, my sidekick walked into the room, turned on the light (I often sit in dark rooms; I am moody) and it was like a real life epiphany.

The next day our local grocery store had a sale on Chex, so I bought 10 of them. Go hard.

Eating cereal for breakfast is a crap idea--poor nutrition, false energy--but you know what? It's a start. And here I am, a living goddamn testament to the power of morning feeding. I have twenty minutes before I need to even leave for work and I've painted my nails, written this blog post, listened to half a Tom Waits album, and dressed in clothes that I haven't already worn twice this week.

Who cares if I have to drink coffee for the next eight hours because I got up too early? I'm awake!

Now, though I don't seem to be doing it with any regularity, I seem to have started this a to z blogging challenge. You may have noticed. Or you may be so shocked by a second post in as many days that you didn't notice anything out of the ordinary because it's all out of the ordinary. I intended to write on something more spiritually interesting today--Practicing the Art of Banishment--but as it turns out, I have several feelings about breakfast, and I'm out of time. Stay tuned, true believers.


  1. I don't believe their lies about sleep and eating and fasting and cycles and moon landings and string theories and evolution and the world not being flat and looking both ways before crossing the road and not accepting candy from strangers.

    Or, perhaps my body just seems to consistently reject any notion made of adhering to some semblance of a healthy schedule.

    If you unlock the mysteries — maintaining your schedule of new-found sleep and breakfast routine for more than 3 months — I will become a believer.

    Also, I am glad you are partaking in the challenge!

    Now to move on to something a tad bit "cool"er.

    Jak at The Cryton Chronicles & Dreams in the Shade of Ink

    1. Jak--candy from strangers is delicious. So tasty, sweet, and sleepy. So, so sleepy...

      Keeping up the routine for three months is more a test of my willpower than of the breakfast-sleep connection. But, I do like incentive, and your conversion would be a big win for our side, so...

  2. LOL I love your post about breakfast! I'm on a kick to lose weight at the moment, and in January, started making breakfast every morning. This was definitely a new and weird habit for me (what? there's more to breakfast than a cup of coffee??)... My kids LOVE it and think they've died and gone to heaven where good moms abound. It's more work, but I admit that I like it too... I just have to prepared.

    In Which We Start Anew